10/22/2014, When problems arise, when tragedy strikes, when what seems like insurmountable odds are against us, when someone we love hurts us, how do we survive? How do we get through the dark tunnel to get to the light on the other side. Some pray, some are angry at God or asking God why, some get depressed, some over-eat, some drink, some just keep a stiff upper lip and just get through it, and some try to help someone else in need or volunteer. The fact is that we all have dark, bleak times and we all have our own way of dealing with them. However, we all get through them – – we survive. The fact that you are reading this, and I am writing this means we are survivors. We all find a way to get through the tunnel.
Facebok is a wonderful tool to keep people connected to share humor, recipe, happy times, and struggles. In the past week, I have noticed my own Facebook friends sharing the gambit of connection. However, I paid attention to the amount of struggle people sharing from car accidents, to major health concerns, to financial difficulties, and to relationship difficulties. What I noticed was that people rallied around the people and encouraged them with positive, life affirming statements.
What about those who do no share struggles, who keep everything to themselves? How do they get through the tunnel? Some keep a journal, some keep busy, some find something positive in their life to focus on. Some positive ways to get through the dark times include: journaling, praying, meditating, exercising, volunteering, and listing pros and cons of options.
There are some of us with negative coping methods such as self harm (cutting, burning, etc), drinking, drugging, fighting, and having suicidal thoughts. These coping methods often lead to more problems and can become yet another dark tunnel. If one of these is your coping methods, I personally know it is not easy to not do these things but it is possible to adapt to a life affirming coping method. Google, go to the library, or ask a medical professional about positive coping skills
My own pilgrimage to a happy life had a couple dark tunnels this week. My divorce is final from my abusive husband after 10 months of living alone and going through the divorce process. However, my fight to survive him is far from over. I am in survival mode. But at first, I was in a dark tunnel with no light and in complete despair. Having a 14 yr relationship end is like a death regardless if it was abusive or not. At one time, my ex-husband and I came together and formed a bond out of love, need, or desire. The fact that it legally has ended is both a blessing and a sad event also. It is also scary because he will never let me go. The other dark tunnel this week is my roof. It is leaking & I am very worried about being taken advantage of by the roofer or any repair man. Living alone, I am responsible for any repairs (house, car, etc.) and that is a new concept for me. In one week, getting divorced but being in danger & then having a leaky roof when all it is doing is raining outside sent me into a pit or tunnel of despair. However, after observing others struggling and surviving. I started walking through my tunnel. I am taking a personal defense class, beefed up my home security, and called the roofer for an estimate. Then, I made some plans with a friend to see a high school play and am volunteering for a pet rescue in a couple of days at an event. My pilgrimage to a happy life continues through the dark, bleak tunnels of strife.
If you are facing your own dark tunnel, you are not alone. There is light, life, and happiness waiting on the other side. If you need help, please get help. Today’s struggles is tomorrow’s strength. Never give up hope.
PILGRIMAGE TO A HAPPY LIFE 